Patty-esque, Not Miller- esque

I will admit, I was very nauseous about last night. There were several moments during the game where I said outloud " I'm going to vomit." I didn't which is good. 

When I first heard Patty would be playing this weekend, I was excited, but then I thought " he's either going to get the Pens or a division rival? And he hasn't played in a week?"

Then I heard it was the Pens, and I got scared. Nothing against Patty, but it's the Penguins, and it was the second of a back to back game, when the Pens had been off since Thursday (and went shopping in the Galleria?). 

BUT

Fuck Tamara. 

Pens fans laugh that it was our back up goalie. Well, cup defenders, why did you only score one goal on our awesome, dominating back up goalie?! Not to mention, how did Jason Pominville score on your starter!?

Other than the attempted vomiting, I was a mess during the game (and I don't just mean the damage on my bank account to SEE Patty play, you're welcome). There's probably cuts and bruises all over Shelby from gosh knows what. She even covered my eyes during parts of the shootout, specific parts that is. 

I think last nights game deserves a top fives! no?

Worse!

5.) 23-ish years ago, Troy and Tina Crosby had sex. 

4.) I had to look up Sidney Crosby to get the names for number 5. 

3.) Craigory almost killed Patty. But, in our heads, it shall remain Tyler Myers.

2.) Jay McKee HAS to be on the Penguins. I mean...grrr!

1.) Abortion wasn't very popular in 1987. 

Honorable Mention: Derek Roy and Jason Pominville do shit for 65 minutes, so we put them on the shootout? C'monnnn!

BEST!

5.) Goose had the opening faceoff, Goose won faceoffs, Goose would take faceoffs and then go right to the bench. Thank godddd that man is back!

4.) Patty got second star! It's not first star, but he was a heckofalotbetter than anyone else, haha!

3.) Patty did AMAZING, even when his captain went all heave ho on him. 

2.) On top of doing amazing, this is a major confidence boost for Mr. Patty. It reminds me of my DARE class in 5th grade in which self confidence was measured with a balloon. 

1.) SIDNEY CROSBY DID NOT SCORE ON THE SHOOTOUT! Huzzzzah!

Also, I've been noticing that a lot of people have been saying Patty plays like Ryan. No no, my friends. Many people like to pick on his age, which means he's been in the league longer, which means IF ANYTHING (not saying it happened, just saying if it had to work one way....read that a few times over before you comment on it) it's the other way around. 

And another thing, Mr. Miller. Patty brings his A-Game when he wears the beanie and sits on his little chair. He bounces around, he leans over the wall to watch, he OPENS THE DOOR FOR PLAYERS TO GET OFF! What do you do? You leave the bench early, and hug Patty the same way my brother hugs me. Shame on you! Brush up on your social skills, you're gonna be doing this a lot more now. 

On an endnote, a guy in a Pens Hossa jersey made a comment about my Patty jersey. My first response was ' ohh, a Crosby jersey, how original.' Only to see what it really was.

And that, my friends, is worse.